Reykjavík, Iceland

The very early taxi ride was most acceptable in a Mercedes driven by a Romanian ex-footballer who played against 1978 World Cup and Golden Boot winner, Mario Kempes in the UEFA Cup in the late 1970’s.

Heathrow was heaving – there was even a queue for the escalator. I didn’t have long in the lounge, and after putting on a few pounds during my four weeks in the UK, I decided I needed to eat more healthily. I opted for a fruity breakfast washed down with alcoholic grape juice. I can’t give everything up.

6F was highly enjoyable and two and a half hours later arrived in Reykjavik’s main airport, Keflavik. KEF, for airport code nerds, is 30 miles outside the city and a taxi costs £100. Expensive place Iceland. I got the bus. Then a taxi driven by an Iranian. I wonder if you go to Tehran or Bucharest, do you get an English taxi driver.

I had two nights in Iceland before taking temporary occupation of cabin number 5116 onboard the Norwegian Star cruise ship. My hotel looked okay on the internet. No external photos though. I wasn’t surprised as it was a former paint factory and possibly the least attractive looking hotel I’d ever stayed in. No sauna, no gym, no trouser press.

I hadn’t been to Iceland for almost 20 years, so I headed out for an adventure. I remember the church was probably the most iconic landmark in Reykjavík. Hallgrimskirkja Church is architecturally funky and looks impressive from a distance. Up close you realise that it’s just square concrete pillars arranged in height order. Inside had no decoration at all. Not even a religious painting. Nothing. I paid to go up the tower to get a view of the city. A mediocre viewing experience, but I was taken with the colourful roofing that Icelanders go for.

After the tower I walked through the streets mingling with cruise ship passengers. There was a Seabourn ship in plus another one a few miles away.

On my way back I went to the penis museum. It was either that or a puffin watching trip. The penis museum won. Iceland only has 400,000 people and I think you need at least a million people to warrant a penis museum. I concluded it was for the tourists whose numbers amount to around 1.7 million a year. All I can say is, good lord!

The Icelandic language is quite interesting. They seem to think that you can have a K and a J next to each other in a word. And the accent sounds a little Welsh with elongated vowels.

On Friday I was booked on the Golden Circle tour. Other than Gullfoss I’d forgotten what else I was going to see, but I knew I was going in a circle. I also picked the only sunny day of the whole week which was very lucky.

I was the first to be picked up by Siddi, and by the time he’d done all 7 pickups we had 14, and I’d been on the minibus for 45 minutes. Siddi was 24 and the youngest tour guide driver for Nicetravel.

First stop was Thingvellir National Park pronounced slightly differently. Heaving with tourists – 5 cruise ships in port. The landscape was dramatic and we had the chance to walk through a gorgeous gorge that separated the North American and Eurasian tectonic plates. The only place on earth where they appear above sea level.

Along the way I learnt more than I needed to know about geothermal water production. Not sure I could repeat much of the process. I also learnt that the Arctic Fox is the only indigenous animal in Iceland. It turned up in a dugout canoe almost 4000 years ago. I might have made some of that up. And the last little fact for you is, the only two places on earth free of mosquitoes – Antarctica and Iceland.

The next stop was what I really wanted to see. It’s been on my bucket list for as long as I’ve had one. Gullfoss means “gold waterfall” and it’s mighty impressive. It’s not particularly high, but it goes in all sorts of directions. Similar to Victoria Falls, it created a lot of mist and it felt like we were having a gentle shower as we walked to the various viewing platforms.

Then it was 20 minutes down the road to Geysir – a geyser, and the main one called Strokkur erupts on average every six minutes. I haven’t had regular eruptions for a good few months now. I joined hundreds of tourists surrounding the geyser, cameras at the ready. Then there was a single bubbling event that sent the water up about 4 feet. I laughed. It certainly wasn’t Old Faithful. I left. If I had been patient I could have witnessed greater activity, as reported by others. Anyway, it still wasn’t Old Faithful.

The last stop was a volcanic crater which is now a beautiful blue/green lake. I walked down the dodgy path and circumnavigated the lake. Lots of midges.

It was a super tour and I was glad I did it. An international group – Americans, Canadians, Chinese, Australians, a lone Brit (me), and a woman from somewhere else. I didn’t care to find out.

In the evening I found a lovely gastropub on four floors which was charming, very busy, and did a lovely ling with mashed potatoes.

On Saturday I had the morning free before boarding the ship. I’d chosen the last embarkation slot because they don’t have the cabins ready until after lunch.

First up was the whale museum and I was able to double my knowledge of these sea creatures. The sperm whale is the largest toothed mammal on the planet, but only has teeth on its lower jaw. The Narwhal has to be the weirdest with a 3 metre horn on all males. Only 15% of females have a tusk. I wonder if it makes them less attractive to male Narwhals, similar to women with whiskers.

Next I trekked up the hill to the Catholic Church. Hideous looking building. Marginally better inside. It was quite surreal because I was the only one in there. Nobody milling around outside. I sat for awhile and the lit candle.

On the walk back to the hotel I was asked directions by a couple of American tourists. Obviously I looked a little Icelandic. Probably the beard.

That was it for Reykjavík. It had been a gloomy morning which reminded me of London! I don’t think there will be much sunbathing on this cruise. Off to the ship.